When thinking about how to plan a DIY wedding, it can either feel like a dream or an overwhelming experience. In this guide, we chat about how (exactly) one goes about planning a DIY wedding? And beyond that, is it possible to have a partly DIY’d wedding? The answers are simply: with bravery, and heck yes!

In this article I’ll cover the following:

• What is a DIY Wedding?
• How to Choose a Venue for your DIY Wedding
• Choosing Suppliers for Your DIY Wedding
• How to Ask Family and Friends for Help
• Is a DIY wedding the right choice for you?

What is a DIY Wedding?

A DIY wedding is a wedding that the couple plans, designs, and executes themselves. Simply cutting out your own bunting does notteth a DIY wedding maketh. We’re talking sourcing your own suppliers, putting your own décor together, and sometimes (in this case) roping in family to cook incredible food. Ultimately, you choose *not* to use a wedding planner or coordinator in the traditional sense of the word.

There is nothing more reliable than a solid “how-to” guide that has pretty pictures and real-life advice. Enter a whole lotta “How to Plan a DIY Wedding” advice from yours truly, with commentary from Lexi and Luke!

How to Choose a Venue for your DIY Wedding

The first step in our How to Plan Your DIY Wedding Guide is finding yourself the perfect venue that will allow you to bring your chosen suppliers in. This is where the bulk of your budget is going to be spent. It is the space that sets the tone. The space (or spaces) that will house your wedding ceremony, your meals and the party!

Important questions to help you decide on the perfect venue:

• Find out if the venue will allow you to bring in outside suppliers.
• Make sure the wedding venue fits comfortably into your budget. There are always last-minute expenses so do not stretch yourselves to the max.
• Does the venue have capacity for your guest list? And when I say capacity I mean comfortably seating them at the ceremony and reception. Still having enough space for people to move around, as well as a dance floor. When checking capacity, also check whether they have facilities for disabled guests if applicable.
• Look for consistent, friendly and timeous communication from the owners or manager. The vibe they give before the wedding will carry through to your day. But remember: digital comms aren’t always a great reflection of personality, so best to hop on a call.
• How many weddings do they host there each day? Ideally, you want exclusive use.
• Setup and breakdown days and times. If you’re doing your own decor, you’ll need the freedom of setting up the afternoon before and breaking down the morning after.
• What basic décor, if any, does the venue include in the cost? Bringing in big items like tables and chairs might pose logistical issues if your venue is remote.
• Look for a venue that is naturally beautiful and has its own charm. This helps ease the pressure when decorating because you aren’t starting from zero.
• Take note of noise ordinances and cut-off times. The way your party unfolds might change based on the venue’s rules.
• Look for a beautiful bridal suite and ask about access hours. Make sure you are able to access the getting ready areas early enough to comfortably fit in your hair and make-up.
• When it comes to catering, does the venue have delicious food or do they allow outside caterers if that is what you want?
• What is their rain plan? Do they have an alternative space for any outdoor portions of your wedding and is that space also pretty? Many venues will have a conference room as a backup. That conference room often looks exactly like a conference room, so you’ll need to spend extra money to drape it. If they don’t have another space, you can still use that venue and budget for a tent. Just make sure you get the go-ahead for tents from management because some venues have underground irrigation and don’t allow tents.
• If needed, is there enough accommodation for your guests on the property or close by?

About Lexi and Luke’s Wedding Venue, Forest Hall Estate

Lexi and Luke held their beautiful DIY wedding at Forest Hall Estate, one of the first manor homes built in The Crags and Plettenberg Bay areas of the Garden Route. Authorities declared this incredibly beautiful old manor house, with its indigenous forest and beach access, a National Monument in 1992. Picking this wedding venue was a stellar choice! I asked them what swayed them to book this wedding venue over all of the other choices they had:

“We chose Forest Hall as our wedding venue because there is nothing else like it! Being right at the Southern tip of Africa, surrounded by the sea and the mountains and so much raw nature around us felt like home. Forest Hall is a stunning venue which is most “like” us. We could not have chosen better!”

How to Plan a DIY Wedding: Choosing Your Suppliers

Having a DIY wedding means you’ll have the freedom to choose all of your suppliers and decide which elements you’d rather tackle yourself. In this “How to Plan Your DIY Wedding” section we’ll go through a few sure-fire ways to make sure your wedding suppliers are trustworthy and that they align with your style, but first thing’s first: do not think that you have time.

Most of the best wedding photographers and wedding suppliers receive bookings up to 18 months in advance. Truth is, your first and even second choice suppliers may not be available if you leave it too late to book. Beyond the time-factor, booking far in advance really helps to ease the financial burden closer to the wedding (think 18 months to spread out payments vs 6 months).

Choosing a rock-solid and trustworthy wedding supplier can feel like taking a giant, faith-filled leap.

Here are a few ways to make sure that your supplier can handle anything:

• A venue’s trusted supplier list is usually worth its weight in gold. The venue should send this to you when you book.
• Ask your friends. Once upon a time there was a movement where every bride wanted everything to be completely unique for her wedding day, including suppliers. Many paid the price for that because they did not understand that the same set of trustworthy suppliers can create a completely unique wedding for each couple. So don’t worry about using the same suppliers as a friend. You will never end up with the same wedding, or images that look the same. I have photographed over 350 weddings and have NEVER produced an identical image nor have I walked into a room feeling like things were a little too familiar. Find people you can trust, ask them to help you create your dream wedding, and go for gold.
• Turn to Instagram. This is where we uncover connections, discover amazing suppliers, and get a glimpse into their visual diaries. Hashtags are your friend! The same goes for post tags—always read the caption and check who’s tagged in weddings you love.
• There is a caveat to Instagram: it is one big highlight reel. There is also a caveat to trusted supplier lists: some venues charge suppliers to appear on their list. So please still do your research. Does the supplier in question have a website? Is there a full portfolio? Does the portfolio show how they have performed in different kinds of weather? Do behind-the-scenes images show staff dressed appropriately for a wedding? Are there Google Reviews for their business? If you are going to invest a lot of money with someone, then you need to be doing real homework.
• Get more information. Contact the suppliers you have your eyes on to chat more. Ask them if they have worked at your chosen venue. Ask to see a full set of images from a wedding. Ask about all of your wild ideas. Ask about any backup plans that concern you. Once you wrap up the chat, you’ll know if they are right for your wedding.
• Don’t forget about the “others”. There are so many people playing smaller roles on a wedding day. A marriage officiant, a jeweller, a trustworthy law firm to help with your legalities, someone to create custom stationery. Create a list on your phone of everything you think you’ll need, so you’re prepared when those names come up in conversation.

Lexi and Luke chat about their DIY Wedding

Lexi and Luke were incredibly laid back. They trusted the few big suppliers they chose to do their best work, whilst the couple tackled most other tasks themselves (with the help of family… more about that in the next section).

“Ensuring everything ran smoothly at our DIY wedding was our responsibility. With the incredible support we had and the amazing suppliers we worked with, we’re proud to say it was a great success. There’s nothing we would change! Even the severe loadshedding became part of the fun. We just adapted and made the most of it!

We chose our wedding vendors based on their reputation and the “feeling” that we got from our first interactions with them. Everyone knew exactly what their role was and we didn’t have to manage or coordinate much for them at all. It was such a pleasure dealing with Niki M, Sarah da Cruz, Events and Tents, Mix Academy and Pieter from Forest Hall!”

How to Plan a DIY Wedding? By Bravely Asking Family and Friends for Help

It takes an army to pull any wedding together. Unlike a fully-inclusive wedding that comes with a planner and/or coordinator, however, most of those elements will be up to you to coordinate. If family members love getting involved and want to help, absolutely say yes! The key thing to understand when thinking about how to plan a DIY wedding is that you won’t be able to do it yourself.

Although, having a lot of people offering help can get a little overwhelming. Sooooo can the silence of no one offering to assist. Either way, it will be up to you to allocate tasks or to ask someone you think will be perfect for the job. Don’t be afraid to do either one. One thing I realised when planning our own backyard wedding: People who love you, love to help.

Here are a few tips so that you can maintain your control, whilst also delegating (and not losing your mind to the task list):

• Make a list. Choose your favourite list-maker and start writing down everything you can think of that you will need to do. Include everything you’ll need to make. Writing a list gives us focus and direction. It lowers anxiety and frees up the brain’s short-term holding capacity. Once you write it down, your brain registers that you’ve taken action.
• Star or highlight any of the tasks that you feel comfortable delegating.
• If you have tasks that you feel will be more detailed or that you are particular about then reserve them for yourself.
• Acknowledge that an ask isn’t a guarantee. Sometimes people will not be able to help, and that is totally ok. You have more than enough people around you to assist, and you will always end up with the right person for the job.
• Important things you will absolutely need help with: a person (hereafter referred to as a designated coordinator) to lightly coordinate the ceremony (cueing the music, signalling the bridal party to start walking, and to make sure the confetti gets where it needs to go). You will also need someone who knows everyone to corral them for the family photos.
• Get really clear about the tasks that the bride, groom, designated coordinator and MC will have on the day. If you communicate that, for instance, the groom will welcome guests, then the MC will point out house rules when everyone is seated, and the designated coordinator will be in place to start the procession, then everyone will know their role and will simply get on with it.

How Lexi and Luke Delegated Tasks at Their DIY Wedding

Lexi and Luke had incredible support at their wedding! Lexi’s sister and friend setup the beautiful décor and flowers, leaving no stone unturned. They scoured Forest Hall for unique furniture pieces and incorporated them into the decor. It was stunning!

As if that wasn’t enough, Lexi’s parents cooked and served up the most incredible meal for all the guests. A ton of candles turned loadshedding into a beautiful and intimate dinner for 80. It was definitely one of the most memorable wedding meals for me!

Is a DIY Wedding the Right Choice For You?

The wedding world is one that is deeply rooted in tradition. This can often cause frustration, especially when deciding which traditions to follow and which to overlook.

A DIY wedding allows couples complete flexibility. Choosing to book, coordinate and plan everything yourself means that you’ll have the freedom to create the wedding that your heart really wants.

For my husband and I, that meant holding our ceremony under our macadamia tree in the garden at 11am. We chose to celebrate with homemade cake, which we cut and served ourselves as a thank-you to guests, followed by a meal that can only be described as Christmas lunch on steroids. And then more dessert because, why not? The kids were running wild (I had to pull them out of the compost pile at some stage) and then everyone gathered around the fire with good music, delicious leftovers and stories as the afternoon mist rolled in. Our schedule was flexible and we just wanted to spend time celebrating with our people. It was perfect for us.

This is what a DIY wedding allows you to do. You get to focus on what is really important to you as a couple. However, if you want zero fuss and for things to roll out without you coordinating anything, then an all-inclusive wedding package at a venue would be perfect for you. All-inclusives will also suit couples who are planning a destination wedding in a country they are not familiar with.

DIY or all-inclusive weddings: How do you decide which type of wedding to have?

Every type of wedding has its place. To ultimately decide the path that you want to take:

• Put Pinterest aside.
• Forget about all of the weddings you have been to.
• Have an honest conversation with your partner about what you want.
• Talk about your wildest dreams, and the things you absolutely don’t care for.
• Trust that you know yourself and your personality.

Once you get clear on all of the above you’ll know which direction to move in, and what feels good in your heart. Remember your ‘why’… the things that mean the most to you. Those are the things that will guide you on your path.

The most important thing when it comes to how to plan your DIY wedding, and knowing if it is right for you: What is meant for you will feel right. And when things get a little overwhelming, put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, and trust your gut.

Lexi and Luke talk about what was most important to them on their wedding day:

“Being present and “in the moment” was the most important thing for us. Cherishing and remembering as much of our special day as possible was our priority. Staying calm and stress-free allowed us to fully enjoy every moment—and we truly did!

We loved having all of our friends and family together at the same time and in such a magical place. It was an unforgettable experience!

Beyond all of the above, it was definitely a once in a lifetime opportunity to all be physically together. We are so grateful for that.”

The amazing suppliers who crafted this gorgeous wedding:

• Venue: Forest Hall Estate
• Decor and Florals: Bride’s Sister
• Dress: Lindi du Toit
• Makeup and Hair: Sarah da Cruz
• Cake: Claire’s Cakes
• DJ: Alton from The MixAcademy in George

And that’s a wrap!

My wish for you is that you’ll be able to use this article to dive a little deeper into your choice, and that you’ll be armed with SOOOOO much information and self-awareness. Be prepared, fearless, and happy! This will be one of the biggest moments of your life and you deserve to have it play out just the way you want it to 

I am always up for an adventure so if you’re looking for the ultimate photographer to join you, please get in touch.

If you loved my “How To Plan your DIY Wedding” guide and are looking for more incredible info then be sure to download and read my other guides: